NOT DEAD
by Vampire Priest
Summary: as the remaining cast sets off to leave they are stopped by a man who claims he has the ability to revive the dead though this ability has a very strange contingency. When all is said and done even Enoshima is brought back.
1. Change of plans

Chapter 1: change of plans

* * *

AN: I forgot almost all of their names so here's a reminder to everyone who has seen the show and/or abridged series liked it but didn't bother to learn their names: Makoto Naegi(good luck); Kyoko Kirigiri(?); Byakuya Togami(prick); Toko Fukawa(book worm); Aoi Asahina(donut nut); Yasuhiro Hagakure(bum); Sayaka Maizono(idol); Leon Kuwata(baseballer); Chihiro Fujisaki(programmer); Mondo Owada(outlaw biker); Kiyotaka Ishimaru(Prefect); Hifumi Yamada(the fat guy); Celestia Lundenberg(Hell-spawn); Sakura Ogami(fighter); Junko Enoshima(model); Mukuro Ikusaba(soldier)

* * *

so the six of them were at the door ready to leave Hope's peak academy when they were greeted by a man in a tuxedo, top hat, shades, and bandana, wearing a bright red tie who said, "Finally! You opened the door for me I've been here knocking at your door for two years. Quick close the door before the others try to get in. HURRY! HURRY! HURRY!" So they shut the door allowing only this white winged man in as they shut everyone else out then the man said, "DAM! It stinks of death in here what happened?"

"A crazy woman locked everyone in this school and gave everyone freedom as an incentive to kill all of their friends after taking away everyone's memories."

"Oh... luckily I know how to bring people back to life."

"Really?"

"Yup! But I can't guarantee their souls will return unless you strip them naked"

"What?"

"Look I don't claim to understand the rules it's just how it is, how it's always been."

"Isn't there another way"

"There is but it involves someone eating the dead person shitting them out in front of me and me shoving it back up their ass and out their mouth. I've never done that before I know it works I've seen it done but I would prefer never to do that... and they come back to life naked anyway so what's the point? Unless there's no way to remove their clothes like if they were crushed, burned, or turned into butter, but it is your choice."

"Strip them it is"

"Okay who do I start with?"

"How about Maizono"

"When ever your ready"(Eventually they revived all of them but for the sake of my sanity I will completely skip writing that part and get straight to the reunion)

They had just locked Enoshima in the garbage room and were currently enjoying not being dead. The suited man said, "remember you can leave anytime but I wouldn't."

Celest asked him, "why not? Is the outside world so broken that you won't let us take our chances"

"Hey I was wondering how was your visit to hell?" She was in stunned silence for a moment then she mumbled something into her tea, "what was that?"

"I wish I hadn't been caught we wouldn't have had to experience that until much later."

"As I thought. You blame Naegi and his emotionless girlfriend for you going to hell and not your own mistakes." Everyone turned and looked at Naegi as he spat out his drink and coughed at hearing what the fancy man had said then they turned to Kirigiri and asked her, "are you two dating?" She continued on doing what she was doing as if nothing had happened. Then when she had concluded doing so she said, "I wouldn't call sending our close friends to their execution dating." Everyone looked at Naegi except for the new guy who had acquired popcorn and was currently sipping his soda at the edge of his seat curious as to how he would respond. He said, "I just remembered we forgot to ask our new friend's name." He laughed awkwardly and they decided to let it go for now and ask him his name but he was nowhere to be found, "he just disappeared" Naegi stated blatantly. Kirigiri got up and started looking for clues to his whereabouts but found nothing more than the sword he had been wearing since he got there.

They ended up having to search the entire building only to find him asleep next to a sleeping Enoshima. They would have opened the door if not for the fact that while not very loud the door does produce some noise. So instead Leon threw his sword at his head upon Owada's instruction. When he did throw it he had already woken up and was then knocked out by the sword he wore, it may have knocked him out but it woke up Enoshima who tried to draw the sword but only succeeded in making tons of noise and constantly slamming her elbows into the man's head due to her slipping hands. She was rubbing her funny bone when he woke up stood tall took his blade back and healed all of her wounds in a simple motion.(pointing his index/middle fingers at his then her forehead and heart(the same motion used to bring the dead back to life(i stand by my decision not to describe their revivals))) all of her injuries were transferred to him and he gave her a pat on the head before walking straight through the bars and telling them, "you can all call me AMX because I don't have a name and don't really care what you call me"

they later told all the previously dead people what had happened since their trip to hell and AMX just sat and played with the useless monokuma squeezing him until he exploded in his arms sending chunks of meat and blood everywhere. They all looked in horror at where he previously stood literally seconds before playing like a child and now everywhere they turned, there he was... for about three seconds that was all anyone could think about until they noticed that the blood was moving back to said spot and building him back up from bottom to top completely forming the man whose wings violently shot out of his back in an explosion of blood before quickly drying off and shining white again the man stood as if nothing happened completely composed then he said, "that was fun let's do it again." Everyone else spoke in union one word loud enough to be heard in the farthest reaches of the school, "NO!"


	2. Alter-ego is Monokuma

Alter-ego = Monokuma

* * *

The t.v. turned on but instead of monokuma on the screen they saw the man who they had invited to live with them until he could go back to whatever dimension he came from. He spoke on what classes they would be taking so as to have some way to occupy their time then tugged on a leash bringing Enoshima into view and said, "since no one else wants it I'm taking it. If you do want it my office door it's always open, and if you want me to get rid of it I'm gonna have to say no. I always wanted a pet homicidal maniac. The fact that this one is cute is just icing on the cake." He then proceeded to dress her as a neco girl and put frosting on her head as a joke.

Later that day they meet up in the auditorium as the principal had an announcement to make, "I fixed monokuma!"

"Why!" They all yelled in unison. "Well it wasn't the doll that was evil it was the puppet master. This cute little puppet master." He pulled her in with the leash, the frosting was undisturbed, as if it had been replaced, though it hadn't. He then began to make noises one would make to entertain an infant or a baby while constantly poking her face in front of everybody. The anger evident on her face, as if she could snap and kill everyone in an instant, which she already tried. After he stopped she refused to move an inch and everyone was just surprised at how well she was taking it. After he had concluded his little waste of time everyone went to bed though some not to their own, like how Enoshima had to deal with the new principal sucking her thumb all night. The little monokuma walked the halls freely having been programmed with Alter-ego's brain so as to allow further interactions with his fellow students.

He was trying to choose where to spend the night by going for to door seeing who's room was vacant luckily Fukawa's room was vacant for whatever reason. So Alter-ego lied down and immediately noticed a diary lying on the floor. Thinking it was just an ordinary book with the world private written in fifty different languages on it in fifty different ways, also translated, and opened the book to the most recent entry. Written in perfect and beautiful calligraphy were the words, "senpai noticed me today!" followed by handwriting that for lack of a better word can be described as chicken scratch, "I'm going to tie him and give him everything I ever planned to give him on our wedding night, and take his virginity with my bare hands! If he resists I'll have no choice but to kill him like the others who rejected me," the two personas began having a bit of a tiff which turned into a who loves him more contest then a discussion on how best to do as they desired. Having felt he read too much Alter-ego slammed the book closed and placed it back in the exact place where it was originally.

After the ordeal with the crazy girl who was talking to herself, Alter-ego tried his hand at Kirigiri's room. A similar book was on the desk with the word diary simply placed at the center of the cover. Alter-ego opened the book to the latest entry (in case you hadn't noticed this AI has no concept of privacy) and saw the five words written beneath the date, "sleeping in Naegi's room tonight"

After that he made a game of seeing what people write in these books which before today he'd never seen before. The next room was Maizono's. He found a pink book with cutesy little drawings of chibis and hearts with the word diary somewhere in the middle. He opened the book to the last page which read, "omg sleeping in (doodle of chibi Naegi) room tonight (doodle of chibi Maizono with (XD) expression)" he closed the book and went to Naegi's room.

The little black plastic eye that peeked into his room saw two girls asleep in the bed. While the proprietor of the room was nowhere to be seen. Very quietly the little doll infused with Alter-ego's personality entered the room. It searched throughout but found no book and with that came to the assumption that only the female students kept a dairy.

He stopped by Asahina's room though the only thing written on the book was the word donuts in many different ways as if she had been practicing ways to write so as to distinguish her hand from the writing of the rest.

He then stopped by Mukuro's room and found, not a dairy, but a written out plan of what her sister said she would do. Including plan to influence certain people to kill all except for her so long as she followed the school rules (The rules were impossible).The rules said that she couldn't leave them in peace, especially Kirigiri. She couldn't let anyone find out about their past, especially Kirigiri. The first murder was to be the last. No one was to find out (can you see the pattern here?). The final rule was simple, don't hurt Monokuma.

After that he went to the now vacant Enoshima's room. There he found a book filled with incomprehensible words. Each page was written either too small or to big overlapping and appearing as nothing more than a bunch of birds and squiggles. Though one page hadn't been completely illegible. On it was a hastily written date, the current one, and the word help written thousands of times over only being legible in that it was spelt in massive print covering the page with thousands of its children surrounding and filling it.

Next came a visit to the Principal's office to check for any potential harassment issues currently rad taking place. In the room he saw a very frightened Enoshima trembling beneath a sleeping principal womb had yet to stop petting her since he fell asleep. He'd of helped her if not for the fact that the floor was drenched in blood and their was a knife on the floor. The new principal subconsciously licked the face of the old one and she mouthed the words, "help... me". Feeling(so what if it's an AI) as though this was a just punishment he slowly closed the door giving Enoshima enough time to whisper threats and insults further justifying the lack of help received.

Back downstairs he wandered to Sakura's room and found a tattered beaten up book with "diary" scratched into the front cover. It was more legible than Enoshima's yet still a challenge. It read, "I worked on my legs today tomorrow I should work on my back and I think my shoulders could use some work too." Thoroughly disappointed and completely confused, the small frame of what was a doll that repainted death in the past, and now the AI that saved an innocent life, waddled towards Celestia's room hoping that whatever might have been written in their would be more interesting.

Once there he found a red splattered book that, originally had a white cover, had the word diary seemingly burned into the cover. Within was a single entree written in ink that made every letter seem to give of flames. Spelt out before him was, "I'd normally not write in a dairy but this book was so cool I couldn't decline. And the way this pen was designed to bleed red ink while not affecting the black ink is so amazing I couldn't leave this unused. PS I knew you would read this. Giving me a dairy just to smell into my room later and read it! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU-" he slammed the book shut and ran out. Celest was awake and saw Monokuma but ultimately paid him no mind. She shut her lids and said, "wrong person same results."

Then the new Monokuma though it best to bunk with Fujisaki. So, not even bothering to check for a dairy Alter-ego went in and spoke to his creator. "Long time no see. I was sad when I heard of your death but comforted by the fact that you were missed by more than just me. But now do you even recognize me?"

"Alter-ego?"

"I'm here papa."?

"Did the new principal give you this new body?"

"Yup! He said that a talking robot doll was no fun without a mind of it's own." And so there he slept... for about three hours... Then the new principal announced that he'd made breakfast and everyone came and received... at around six in the morning.


	3. foul play

Foul play

* * *

Once everyone was seated and accounted for the new principal spoke, "it has come to my attention that someone has taken my wine without permission" they gave him there undivided attention not for what he said but rather for the fact that he was constantly being stabbed in the chest by the blond in his lap who's hair he'd been stroking. He continued, "in addition there've been some *clears throat* unique noises coming from the security room... mainly the camera near the bedrooms. Would anyone care to explain?"immediately the eye of almost everyone, save Fukawa's, Togami's, Maizono's, and the couple in question's, fell upon Kirigiri and Naegi.

They looked around the room and found that they had been singled out amongst the other potential candidates. Before they could even speak Fukawa began to explain that which she had done the night before. "Um..." all eyes were now on her. "Actually me and Togami were the ones making noise"

"Fukawa if you want a chance to repeat what happened last night you'll hold your tongue." At the command of Togami she stopped dead in her tracks. All attention returned to the principal when his arm was cut off and then began to slowly grow back. "So... it was Togami and Fukawa" though the thought of not having any blame appealed to them greatly Maizono still couldn't help being honest. She raised her hand and spoke, "I slept with Naegi..." The eyes of the room now fell on her though she was used to getting some *cough* unwanted attention. And Kirigiri decided to share the blame in saying, "yeah me too" then the new and improved Monokuma did his trademark laugh and said, "I saw you both in his room last night but I didn't see him, care to explain."

"He was in the bathroom."

"You were asleep. Where was he?"

"How should we know. If you're right and we were asleep, then why would we even sleep in his room in the first place?"

"I don't know but I do know you can't sleep with someone who isn't there." Naegi spoke up for the first time today, "I was in the bathroom. I was hiding until they stopped arguing." The principal spoke on this subject the moment he had the chance. "Arguing yes that's what I meant by unique noises! The sounds of childish squabbling are incomprehensible to me and I'd like you two to explain what it was about." They both looked at each other and began to look towards Naegi then away from each other completely. As he was being decapitated his voice sounded almost amplified from the bucket it landed in. "If you don't feel like sharing with the class maybe you shouldn't have brought this to school." His head crawled out of the bucket having grown spider like legs from the bottom of his still bleeding neck. Once it reached the top of his shoulders and was able to reconnect with the rest of the body, the spider leg extensions were each stabbed into his neck slowly until his head was were it was before it fell. He wiped his neck of the blood and not even a scar was left behind. No physical evidence that his head had ever come off.

After breakfast it was a pretty normal day, classes had resumed, and everyone, except for the survivors, had regained their memories. "Alright class. Remember you can help each other with homework but if you copy someone else's work I'll make sure, personally, that your reproductive organs be amputated with a rusty spork. And I'll know who's the one who copied and who isn't." Enoshima was using her pen as a stabby stabby.

During class the principal had some... odd... rules on discipline, things that would otherwise go unnoticed would be punished with strange swiftness.

The pen was knocked from her hand and she found herself looking at the wall and not the bloody wounds of her replacement. Then something everyone saw coming. He began to spank her until her ass turned red while saying, "this hurts me just as much as it hurts you." When the punishment concluded he sat her down in her usual seat, ergo his lap, and said, "what did I say about distracting the other students with the sight and smell of my blood?"

"I am within my rights!"

"How?"

"Class has concluded for today."

"I thought it was just lunch break"

"No that was two hours ago now class is over"

"My bad looks like I owe you a free pass on whatever you decide to do next. And I mean just one. You know that right?"

"Right..." time past and Kirigiri was called up to the principal's office with Maizono not far behind. A rare sight did they see. Enoshima was walking around without the principal. Before they could ask she blatantly said, "I've got a free pass remember?" The thought of what she might do frightened them, at least a little bit anyway, and then they saw a thin trail of blood on their way to the principal's office. When they entered the expected loud obnoxious welcome he seemed so eager to do was replaced with silence. Before they could react to his lack of a reaction he pulled up a white board and wrote 'Enoshima stole my tongue' then erased it and replaced it with 'care to share now that your classmates aren't here?'

"We were arguing over who gets first dibs." They both said in unison expecting a long drawn out, literally, lecture as to why they shouldn't bring that into school but instead they got 'thank you for both your time and your honesty.' Then he ran after Enoshima and caught his tongue halfway on its decent into the toilet and reattached it before licking Enoshima's face and saying "aren't you glad my tongue never touched the toilet water?" His tongue extended and licked her entire face bottom to top in one go. He then began to stroke her hair and said, "where do you keep getting these knives?" As he pulled a butcher's knife out of his back. He brought her back to his room and slept with his head planted firmly between her beasts.


End file.
